Being A Military Wife


Heloise Hartman, Belgium

An army wife: ” An emotionally strong and independent woman who does what is necessary to care for her family. A very devoted wife who is proud of her army husband.”


Would you be able to assume this responsibility?

We always speak about the difficult life of a military man, but what about the family who is left behind?

I am 18 years old, I come from Belgium and I’ve been dating a military man for a bit more than one year. His father and his older brother are also in the army, so I have many experiences on which I can base myself.

The army is not the same in every country. Now, in Belgium and in a big part of Europe (Spain, France, United Kingdom, Germany,…), even if these countries aren’t in war, we have a constant danger because of the terrorists.  We can relate no less than 8 attacks in 2016 in Europe (including 2 in Belgium), and already 20 attacks in 2017, only in Europe.  Because of this constant fear all the citizens have, and the fact that less and less people want to enter the army, our Belgian soldiers have to pass minimum 6 months every year far from their family, protecting the big cities and the big events of their country to which they promised loyalty. Can you imagine passing your birthday, Christmas or any important day without your family, without your parents, your wife or your children only because of your job?

Being a military wife means being able to do everything a couple has to do, but do it alone. That contains being able to keep the house clean, being able to use some tools to repair everything, being able to educate the children, to make them take their bath, to cook for them every day and as well to help them with their homework. But also being able to explain them where their dad is, why he is not here, at home, with us… It’s a lot of responsibilities and you can never give up.

dear john

But it’s also missing him a lot, being worried every day because you know what can happen, and you can’t do anything. When they have to go far away for a mission (in Mali, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Gabon…) you can’t know exactly where they are or what they are doing. You sometimes stay during many hours in front of your phone, waiting for a small message just to know he is fine. Sometimes you don’t have any news during many hours, or many days.


But instead of that, we can be proud of them and of all they accomplish. Not everybody can say that their husband is totally devote to his work. That they are risking their own life to save the one of hundreds or thousands people they don’t even know.

loving a military man


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